Name: Water
Duration: P00H02M12S
Description: A mock death metal song about needing water

Water

from Slap Unhappy by Derwood Bowen

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about

A mock death metal song about needing water

lyrics

Alright, it's time to make this track pwn. Time to prepare for *cough* *cough* Ooh, time to hydrate... give me... (hi-hats start) NO! I'M NOT READY! I NEED TO... AW CRAP...

Slave of the microphone, music starts too soon
Throat is too dry, larynx spelling out its own doom
Music still going, water bottle is taunting me
But I've got a song to do, so I press on mightily
I think that I can make it through at least a verse
Thankfully there's no coughing, but the roof of my mouth hurts
I can do this *cough* *cough* with ease
I *cough* *cough* OW! *cough* HELP ME PLEASE!!

WATER! WATER! I NEED WATER!!!
WATER! WATER! I NEED WATER!!!
WATER! WATER! I NEED WATER!!!
I NEED AN INSTRUMENTAL BREAK!!!!!

(long growl) I hope I can copy and paste that after the next chorus

Instruments don't need breaks, in them I am of envy
Death metal singing will be the death of me
I was given too much to do and for way too long
Maybe next time, I should be the one who writes the song
Instead of the band members, who played a really cruel joke
I feel the shape of a razorblade inside my throat
But it actually is my throat, and it's cutting itself
My options at this point are to take death, or else...

WATER! WATER! I NEED WATER!!!
WATER! WATER! I NEED WATER!!!
WATER! WATER! I NEED WATER!!!
I NEED AN INSTRUMENTAL BREAK!!!!!

(series of short growls) WHO WRITES THIS STUFF WHERE I HAVE TO RUN SOLID MINUTES OF THIS?!?!?!

Ah, good, the end is near, I can see it coming up
I can relax and drink, because my throat has had enough
Time to give my throat a refreshing liquid massage
Grab the bottle, find out it's a... DESERT MIRAGE?!

(whispered loudly) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!