He's Asleep, And He Won't Wake Up

from Throwbacks by Derwood Bowen

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lyrics

We hit him on the head while he was in bed
We took a shaving cream pie and shoved it in his eye
We took the alarm clocks we'd hear, and put them next to his ear
We poked him with a stick, but that doesn't do the trick
He's asleep, and he won't wake up.

We tried to scare him by yelling "BOO!" We replaced his pillow with a squeaky shoe
We filled his bed with poisonous snakes, but his unconsciousness we can't even shake
We stuffed doughnuts up his nose, but he completely inhaled those.
To make sure his life wasn't done in, we did the Heimlich on him.
He stayed asleep, and he won't wake up.

We put battery acid in a garden hose, then put it in his hand and tickled his nose
We parachuted him from a plane and flushed him down the drain.
We locked him in the fridge, we hung him from a bridge,
We can't do this for a whole generation, so he'll just die of starvation
'Cause he's asleep, and he won't wake up.