Everybody's Doing It

from Ace Of All Trades by Derwood Bowen

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lyrics

Welcome friend, step this way
Find the sign that matches your sex
And walk on in through that door
Into the stall where everyone ejects

Empty yourself of bodily waste
And flush it away to a faraway place
Don't worry about feeling odd, my friend
It's a very popular trend
Everybody's doing it
Now it's your turn to do it too

Perhaps for you this is new
You're not the type to follow the crowd
But your body is telling you
To use your bladder which God endowed

The cool kids are doing it, so should you
Even the uncool kids do it too
You say you won't, and we say "Whoa, man,"
It's perfectly natural, get with the program
Everybody's doing it
Now it's your turn to do it too

You'll feel so much better after whizzin'
There's no need for nonconformism
I get that you like to stand out from the crowd,
But if you go in your pants there'll be no one around

So come on in, release your pride
Don't try to defy like you're the boss
Just let it go, do what's right
Be one of us, it's for a good cause

There's no need to go up in arms
You're in privacy, and it brings no harm
In fact it recycles the environment
So there's nothing for you to go against
Everybody's doing it
Now it's your turn to do it too

Don't try to fake it, just play your role
Don't bring in water to pour in the bowl
I can afterwards stick my nose there
To tell if you're real or being a poser

So just comply, acquiesce
Be a good follower and a good sport
Don't make a stink, unless it's brown
Don't waste your breath on Karen-style retorts

Don't be the lone soldier against the ensemble
Don't be a Guy Montag or Oliver Cromwell
It only takes just one or two minutes
After that you can continue your living
Everybody's doing it
Now it's your turn to do it too