Drunk Dancing

from Lightbulb-Eating Selfie by Derwood Bowen

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lyrics

Clap your hands and jump into the air
Spin in a circle like you just don't care
If you did that with no problem at all
Grab yourself a bottle of alcohol

As you down an entire bottle
Feel your vision blur and your body wobble
If that happens, but you still don't fall
Grab another bottle of alcohol

Do a little twirl and trip over your feet
Punch someone you never meant to meet
But accidents happen, no need to brawl,
Just laugh and down some more alcohol

Slowly you forget where you are
Get dizzy, fall down, and start seeing stars
On the floor you now lie sprawled
Clutching your bottle of alcohol

Hitch a ride as you start to quiver
From the pain of your abused liver
Get some rest in the hospital,
Drink a secret stash of alcohol

Wake up with a headache and see the room spin
Attempt to down a little medicine
In impaired judgment, curl into a ball
'Cause you confused your medicine with alcohol

Make out with a hottie 'cause you can't hold back
Wake up the next morning, find out it was the cat
Spend all day coughin' up hairballs
Washing them down with more alcohol

By now you're completely passed out
And you're too dim to figure out
That I've been making fun of you all
'Cause you're all too plastered on alcohol

<lots of mocking laughter, and some troubled screaming>